Dear MTN, I have been with my boyfriend for four years and I love him so much, but he has one terrible flaw that is ruining my life... HE SNORES! He snores SO loud that I can barely sleep next to him. Most nights one of us has to go on the couch because I can't sleep through the torture of his snoring! He's tried the breath right strips, he's tried sleeping in different positions, he's tried special pillows, and nothing works! I love him so much and wish that we could have a pleasant night of sleeping side by side, but honestly I just can't take it anymore. Every morning I wake up feeling disoriented because I don't get a good night's sleep. It sounds ridiculous to break up with someone because they snore, but I just can't go on like this! Is there any other option? Sincerely, Sleepless in Long Island Dear Sleepless, I'm sorry to hear about your problem, and I'm sure women across the world can identify with your situation. There is nothing worse than trying to sleep when someone is snoring!!! I totally understand how frustrating it can be! The problem is that it is not like your boyfriend is doing it on purpose, so you do have to cut him a little bit of slack. If you really love him, it is worth exhausting every option to find a way so that you can sleep in the same bed. The more used to you get of sleeping on the couch, the easier it will be for you to grow apart physically. I've heard that there is a pillow that is supposed to work wonders! You can try ear plugs. He should also see a doctor. He might have a medical problem like sleep apnea, that can be fixed with a simple medical procedure. If you really love him, it will be worth it to find a solution! Good Luck - MTN Dear MTN, My girlfriend of a few months travels a lot for business. Almost every month she has to go away for a weekend or more with her company. I wouldn't normally have a problem with it, except her co-worker that she travels with is a man she used to fool around with. It never progressed into a relationship or anything but they did have a physical relationship and I find myself feeling very jealous when she goes on trips when he is there. Deep down I know I should just trust her and our relationship is so new I have no business making any demands. I don't want to give her an ultimatum, and I know I would lose, but I just don't know how to deal with my frustrations of knowing she's in a hotel with a guy that has seen her naked!! I don't know what to do!! Help me MTN!!! - Tommy Dear Tommy, You cannot start out a relationship with doubts and jealousy. You have to show this woman some respect and give her the benefit of the doubt and believe in your heart you can trust her! She was honest enough to tell you her situation with her co-worker and I'm sure it is because she is a good honest woman. If you have only been dating a few months then you cannot make any ultimatums and it will not do any good for your relationship or your well being. All you can do is tell her that unfortunately it makes you uncomfortable so that she knows how you feel. Anything more than that is really out of your control. Also, don't forget to mention to her that you trust her completely, and that she can of course always trust you. - MTN Dear MTN, I just have just finalized my divorce after 16 years of being with my first boyfriend. I was with Mark from when I was 15 and we got married at 23 and now at 31 we are divorced. I am writing because I am recently "out there" again and I am in total shock! Mark was the only boyfriend I have ever had, and everything we experienced we experienced together. I thought our relationship is what was considered normal and now I have to see things a different way. Anyway, I have been on a few dates with a few different guys and I can't help but compare them to Mark. Not that he was better, but he was just what I was used to. Like the most recent guy I went out with, is OBSESSED with sports. It's all he talks about, and I don't really know that much about sports. Is this something that is important to most other men? Maureen, please help me! How do I give these new men a real shot without comparing them to my ex? - Michele Dear Michele, Your story truly breaks my heart, but unfortunately it is not the first time I have heard it. Many times people get together so young and never know what they really want and through divorce or another tragedy they find themself in the same kind of situation. You have to learn to put your relationship with Mark in one chapter of your life and realize it's time to move on. You can now experience new things with a new man. Take this time to learn for yourself what you really like in a man. Make a list of all the interesting and important qualities you need in a relationship. To answer your question, no it is not normal for a man to talk about sports the whole time on a date. Of course many men like sports, but he should not be obsessed with them. He might have just been nervous, however, so he should be worthy of a second date. Just make sure you mention that you really don't like sports personally. I have many clients that feel the way you do and I have to ease them back into dating by taking baby steps. You need baby steps with the dating process. Don't jump in the deep end yet Michele, you should take the time now for yourself and think about what YOU want in a man. Your whole life was about what you wanted together and now you get to be selfish, so enjoy yourself, learn more about yourself and what you want and take advantage!! Best of luck! - MTN Please send in your questions to Mtnelson@optonline.net. Maureen Tara Nelson Private Matchmaking, Inc. 1-888-31-MATCH
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