The beginner's guide to Irish slang

Ah he's as sick as a small hospital....if you don't know what that means you need to check out this slang guide.

Here is a guide to some of the best Irish slang, certain to confuse and guaranteed to amuse!

Go on ya good thing! Why not drop one of these phrases into your next conversation to demonstrate your depth of knowledge of Irish lingo.

I'm as sick as a small hospital.
- I am feeling rather ill today.

He would get up on a cracked plate.
- That gentleman has very low standards in female company.

She's so ugly the tide wouldn’t take her out.
- The lady is aesthetically challenged.

He is an awful long string of misery.
- That man is rather tall and skinny.

He was as useful as a cigarette lighter on a motorbike.
- That gentleman is particularly useless.

You couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.
- You have a terrible aim.

He was as tight as a ducks arse.
- He was very cheap with his money.

You could talk for Ireland.
- That person is very loquacious.

Grand soft day.
- The weather is dreadful today.

Sound as a pound!
- Sounds like a good plan.

We're sucking diesel now.
- Things are going well.

Do you fancy a few scoops?
- Would you be interested in an alcoholic beverage?

That lad is an awful chancer.
- He will try anything.

Christ on a bike.
- I don’t believe what’s before my eyes.

You'll have a cup in your hand.
- Would you like a cup of tea?