The last thing you want to hear first thing in the morning is that you’re a member of the least attractive group of men in the whole wide world, but that’s exactly the news that Irish men the world over woke up to earlier this year.
Despite Irish men constantly being heralded as the sexiest in the world in other places, elite dating site beautifulpeople.com has again named them the “ugliest men in the world” and to be honest, they (and we) are royally upset about it.
Last year, fewer than one in ten Irish men was accepted on the LA-based site that prides itself on only accepting the world’s most attractive people. Although rates of success were higher in Dublin, more often than not, Limerick lads were faced with disappointment when they applied.
Irish women did fare better on the site, coming ninth out of the 21 countries ranked (that’s a top ten finish!) but that doesn’t mean we’re any happier about the treatment of our countrymen.
Irish men are simultaneously voted ugliest and sexiest in the past few months. What does it mean?? �� #facesforradio— Salsa Hayes (@jenq90) January 27, 2016
One Irish man in particular was extremely unhappy about the results, saying that he was quitting the site as a result of their low ranking.
The “Galway Player,” a self-styled dating guru based in the Town of the Tribes, has claimed that it is a "gross injustice” to label Irish men in this way, listing many examples of Irish men the site would be only to happy to accept.
"The Emerald Isle is the birthplace of Colin Farrell, Tommy Bowe, Stuart Townsend, Michael Fassbender, Rob Kearney, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Danny O’Donoghue and myself to name but a few," he wrote on his Facebook page.
"Any nation that boasts such quality of men folk is entitled to doubt the validity of your findings".
He does point to where Irish men could have gone astray, however. None of which are their own fault but simply a result of our sun-deprived climate.
"A good tan can make a person look more attractive, hence living on a Island that sees more rain than your site sees airbrushed profile pictures, has us at a massive disadvantage," he quipped.
He also believes the "higher than average proportion of ginger people" in the country may have harmed our chances.
So they may not all be a bronzed Adonises, but they definitely have a lot more going for them.
"What we lack through in genetics and time spend manscaping we absolutely make up for in other critical departments," he continued.
"As the old Irish saying goes…..If you’re lucky enough to be Irish, you’re lucky enough".
There is hope, however. The last place slot was shared by the Irish with UK and Polish men who are apparently just as ugly, although we’re sure we could also pick out many examples from these countries that would say otherwise.
Irish men have been voted the ugliest on the planet, but we don't care because we never fancied ye anyway. So there.— Fintan O'Toolbox (@FintanOToolbox) January 27, 2016
Greg Hodge, who runs the site, also has some advice for how the Irish can up their success rate by making small improvements to their profile.
“A topless selfie shot in a seedy room or an image of them at the pub, pint in hand, does not go down well with women. Men are not just selling themselves, they are selling a lifestyle," he said.
"A polished image showing an interesting lifestyle would greatly improve their acceptance rates."
The Swedish came top of the poll with 60 percent of applicants making it to the site, followed by Brazil at 41 percent and Denmark at 40 percent. Ireland came in at just nine percent.
Scandinavians came in the top three spots of the women’s list: Norwegians at 71 percent, Sweden at 62 percent, and 61 percent for Iceland.
Despite its strict vetting procedure, beautifulpeople.com boasts five million users worldwide, ensuring only the most attractive members of each nationality will be presented to you.
Don’t worry lads, we still love you, interesting lifestyle or not. Here’s a reminder of why it is just utterly wrong to call Irish men the ugliest in the world.
1. They ARE attractive
Just look at these beautiful faces. How can we call a nation that produced Colin Farrell, Michael Fassbender, Downton Abbey’s Allen Leech, Aidan Turner and Jamie Dornan ugly? Rolling Stone even named Conor McGregor as one of the 25 hottest sex symbols of 2015!
2. The accent
It doesn’t matter what you look like anyway when you speak like that.
3. Great sportsmen
As well as our own exciting GAA championship, we’re looking forward to cheering on the boys in green at the Euros this summer and during the Six Nations.
4. The craic
As “Galway Player” said: “charm, wit, personality, warmth and generosity."
5. The special bond between an Irish lad and his Mammy
There’s nothing stronger.
So where do you stand? Are Irish men the ugliest in the world?
* Originally published in Jan 2016.