Mommy Diaries: Babies Can Be Messy – VERY Messy

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Being a joker at the best of times, I assumed my husband was pulling my leg but something in his face told me that maybe I should look down, and just as well I did.

Colum had pooped out the side of his diaper, all down his legs and onto my new expensive pair of jeans. He just missed the new beige couch.

I swooped him up and made a quick exit to our own apartment to give him a bath. This was the first time I had been pooped on. Peed on yes, several times, but this was a first so it was fair to think I’d drawn the short end of the stick on Sunday.

Little did I know then what the universe had in store for me on Monday.
So back to this morning. I summoned up whatever bit of energy I had left to change Colum from his night clothes into new summer ones that his Nana Liz had sent over from Ireland.

Because Gavin and Carol are staying in Colum’s room he has been sleeping in his crib in our room and all the necessary baby accessories are there too, making it way too cluttered but that’s beside the point. I needed to leave the room for a second to get his clothing so I placed him on the bed, naked.

Lesson number one -- never leave a naked baby, especially a boy, on an expensive plush pillow-top bed that you plan to have for eternity.
When I returned to the room I could see from the corner of my eye Colum eating his right foot, but what I didn’t notice until I got closer was pee trickling down the other side. At that point it looked like he was finishing so instead of risking the chance of getting myself showered in baby pee I decided to let him be.

When the coast was clear I removed his little foot from his mouth, picked him up so I could clean up the mess and get him dressed.

Peeing on the bed wasn’t enough. He made one of those half coughs-half chocking sounds and up came his whole bottle.

It slid, all eight ounces of it, down his belly, onto his chunky thighs and formed a white pool around his bum. He was destroyed, and so was all my bed linen. More laundry and it’s only 9 a.m. (Side bar -- John flooded the bathroom this morning and I was out in the laundry room at 6:30 a.m. washing towels and bath mats.)

With the intention of getting him dressed, I placed Colum on his changing mat on my dresser. A mirror looks down onto his mat, and Colum giggled to himself while checking out his reflection.

I took this opportunity to begin removing all the bed linen. I’m about two minutes into it and I hear an unnerving, yet familiar sound.

Pee, more pee. I look around and there he is peeing upwards onto my mirror.
The pee hit the mirror hard, bounced back onto his belly, splashed to the floor and some even trickled into my sock drawer! Could this day get any worse, and it was only 9 a.m.!

Needless to say, instead of spending the day bonding with our visitors in the city I had to make several trips to the laundry room, and drink lots of caffeine to keep me awake. I guess it’s just another day in the life of a new mommy.

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