Leavin' on a jet plane: An emotional journey home to Ireland

A sudden family death in Ireland, an upcoming wedding and all kinds of emotional upheaval

JFK AIRPORT, Saturday, October 24 -- It may be my heavy heart responsible for the tears silently slipping down my face. It may also be a reaction to the emotions I see before me.

A grown man holding on for dear life to his mother as they face the inevitable -- a 3,000-mile distance and months before a reunion can occur again.

A small girl, frilled out in pink and gold, waving goodbye with sadness in her face to a grown woman, possibly her aunt, a woman in her early thirties, traveling solo but shedding tears for someone special. A young couple about to be separated by an ocean.

The departure terminal at JFK is a sad place for all, including the Irish.

I sit here on Saturday feeling blue.  My experience at the departure terminal was supposed to be one of joy and happiness.

It was to take place on Friday, November 20. My fiancé and I were scheduled to bid adieu to New York for a few weeks. We are to be wed on Saturday, December 5 in Ireland.

Unfortunately, a late night call on Friday last landed me here four weeks prior to schedule, this time with a heavy heart and a sadness that no one can shake.

My grandmother, Diana Drew, passed away in Ireland. The funeral took place on Sunday and early Monday morning.

While my friends turn over for their second sleep in New York Diana will be laid to rest beside the love her life, my grandfather. The love of my life and soon to be husband, John, has to stay behind to tie up loose ends. I will miss him!

As I sit here and run my fingers over the keyboard, I look around. John has gone to get me some dinner before I go through the grueling ordeal of check-in and security (with two overweight bags and a wedding dress).

I spot a man, a speckle of grey hair running through his locks, holding what appears to be his wife, an attractive brunette. They sit in the corner, not wanting to be disturbed.

She leans her head into his chest and whispers something in his ear. He unlocks his hand from his soda cup and brings it to her face. There he pulls her head up towards him and plants a gentle kiss.

Somewhat comforted, she smiles but I still see pain. Maybe she too has to leave suddenly because someone has left this earth before their time.

Later on I see her sitting alone at the Aer Lingus departure gate staring into space. She was all alone except for an iPod and a small suitcase. I momentarily considered approaching her but thought my misery and her misery would not make for light conversation.

I decided to sit alone and think about what lay ahead. The inevitable heartbreak of seeing my grandmother in a coffin. They tell me back home she looks peaceful. They all say that though!

I’m unsure how I will feel when I land on Irish soil (to torrential rain they say), but whatever emotions it’s all part of life.

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Nster.com